The Gossip Game
by Lecanis
Summary: Sequel to Hiding. Iruka gets caught up in the gossip game in Gemna's stead, and Genma gets caught up in dangerous missions, complicated emotional issues, and an intense need to get on with his life. KakaIru, GenRai, mention of GenIru history
1. Chapter 1: Real and Imitation

Notes: This is a sequel to Hiding, though the focus shifts a bit. There will be yaoi (duh!), violence, and who knows what else before I'm done.

Chapter 1: Real and Imitation

Iruka strolled into the mission room with a bandana-style hitae-ate tied backwards on his head, his hair down and showing beneath it, and a senbon clenched between his teeth. He slouched over to a corner and slumped against the wall, surveying the room carefully. Naruto and Sasuke were standing in front of Yori's desk at the moment; Sasuke waiting patiently while Naruto rambled on about the mission in detail Yori probably really didn't care about. Finally, Shino who was in line behind them, stepped forward to stand directly behind Naruto, who paled and pretty much bolted. Same old dynamic, even if they weren't kids anymore, and Iruka wanted to smile but smirked a bit instead.

A few of the other shinobi in the mission room waved to him, greeting him as if he were Genma even though he didn't look anything like Genma beyond his clothing and body language. This "prank" was a well-established one, and most people knew that even if they spoke to him as Iruka, he would ignore them. He'd first "impersonated" Genma when he was about 12 years old and still a shadow at the other man's heels, and so the sudden appearance of "Iruka-as-Genma" in the mission room brought no suspicion.

Iruka sighed inwardly. He didn't want to spend his day lounging around the mission room playing "the gossip game". He'd been ready to kill Genma when he had shown up at his door that morning with his spare clothes (slightly altered) and thrown them at him along with a mission scroll. Genma's face still bore the "I will not injure Iruka's boyfriend" tattoo across it, and Iruka had laughed to see his stubborn friend still hadn't found a way to get it off himself. It had been there almost a month, and he had yet to ask Iruka to take it off or even admit it existed. After reading the scroll Genma handed him however, he wasn't laughing anymore, and he had quickly reached out to release the jutsu. "Be careful, Gen-chan" he had whispered to Genma that morning, but Genma had only tossed him a quirky grin and left.

So now Iruka was in the mission room, wishing he wasn't spending what should have been his day off there. But orders were orders, and so Iruka glanced around for his first target, trying to pull his "Genma persona" around him and be ready for a lot more deception than his daily life typically involved.

After a month of basically being Iruka-sensei's trainee, Soseki Yori thought she was used to him, and all the things that came with him. His perverted Jounin boyfriend who just wouldn't stay away during Iruka's shifts unless he was on a mission, his friend Genma who seemed to live for gossip and not have much else to occupy his time, his ex-students who still treated him as if he were their teacher, his moods, his temper, the efficiency with which he handled people, knowing exactly how to get them to do whatever they were supposed to be doing without protest. Yes, Yori was pretty sure she had Iruka all figured out, until he threw her yet another curveball. Like showing up on his day off pretending to be Genma, without much of a disguise… and better yet, how everyone simply accepted this and went about their business.

Izumo noticed her distress and laid a hand on Yori's shoulder. "Not to worry, he hasn't cracked. It's an old joke of theirs, since we were kids. Just pretend he's Genma and don't ask him about it, okay?"

"But… why?" asked the Chuunin woman, her pretty face showing clear confusion.

Izumo shrugged. "Who knows why? He might be better known as Iruka-_sensei_ now, but our dear Iruka is nothing if not a prankster, and I'm sure he's up to no good somehow. If you're not his target, it's better to stay out of his way, and if you are, well… good luck."

Yori shook her head, trying once again to figure out the many faces of Iruka, not knowing that Iruka was at the very moment regretting this particular face, wishing he'd never innocently remarked to Sandaime once that the mission room was sure a hotbed of gossip, and anyone controlling and collecting that gossip should be able to both thwart traitors and spot shinobi on the verge of breaking who needed to be treated or taken out of the field.

The real Genma, meanwhile, was on his way out of town. He walked alone, his walk speaking of cold efficiency, his mind carefully cataloguing mission details and planning for the all contingencies. He spared only the briefest thought for his friend Iruka, even now impersonating him, only a moment of sadness for the loss of a tattoo on his face the he hadn't honestly tried to remove, that he had looked at every morning to remind him that even if Iruka were with someone else, nothing had changed between them, the prank more a sign of affection to Genma than any touch could have been. Then his thoughts turned to the strangely out-of-place hug his usually less affectionate friend Raidou had given him the last time he saw him, and how Raidou now called him Gen-chan, and it if meant what he thought it meant. Then he shook his head, and all thoughts of friends and names and pranks melted away in the face of duty.

It was a long, long day. Iruka's mind was an impressive weapon, and when he turned it against the problem of the complexities of shinobi society, it made short work of the mess. He updated Genma's files quickly, but then found himself sitting in the middle of the secret file room staring blankly. The mission his friend had gone on was very dangerous, he knew by the other man's behavior when he had come by that morning to give Iruka his orders for the day and get the prank-jutsu removed. Genma hadn't joked with him, hadn't hit on him, and more importantly, hadn't had the usual teasing glint in his eyes. It worried Iruka, because while Genma went on plenty of missions, most didn't make him so serious.

Iruka sighed. He worried about everyone too much, and he knew it. Shinobi fought, shinobi killed, and shinobi died. That's what they did. All this worrying was going to kill Iruka, but he didn't know how to stop it. He sometimes wished he could take more of the harder missions himself, that he could be out there fighting, killing and someday dying too, instead of here worrying, but he'd chosen his own path years ago. He'd done his share of missions before choosing to become a teacher, and occasionally afterwards, and he knew that while he was thinking of Genma right now, Genma wouldn't be thinking of him.

Shiranui Genma wasn't going to make it back to Konoha. He was fairly sure of this, logically. He had far too many enemies on his trail, was far too exhausted, and quite simply wasn't sure what his next move was. He had known this mission was going to be dangerous, and the whole point was to get in, make the kill, get the goods, and get out before anyone saw him. He had signed his death warrant the moment his victim had spotted him, but he'd made the kill, and got the goods, and now he was pretending he still had a chance. He wasn't quite sure why he bothered. If he was smart, he figured, he would take one of his own poisons while he had the chance, keep him from being captured or tortured, and say goodbye to this life.

Instead he was running, leaving traps behind him, trying to find a way to get back to Konoha without bringing the enemy with him. He couldn't kill them all, he knew, but he hoped to lose them or separate them. He mentally ran through his supplies, figuring out what he could set up with what he had. He still had a couple of special tags Iruka had given him tucked away that could help in a pinch, if he could just get into the right place to use them… modified explosive tags that had various effects, which usually proved very useful in situations like this. If he survived, he'd thank Iruka for them later, he figured, setting the first one just as one his pursuers neared. He felt it go off behind him with a "poof" and heard the laughter of the enemy nin who thought he'd made a mistake… which was fine with Genma. Soon enough, that nin and anyone he came in contact with would be dead from a very vicious and easily spread poison, and Genma could only hope he'd regroup with his teammates to spread it before it kicked in.

Half an hour later, there were considerably less enemies following him. None, in fact. The "Umino Special" tag had taken out a few and Genma had managed to pick off the survivors with a combination of senbon, ninjutsu, and once a very messy kill with a rock after he ran out of weapons. He might not be a legend, but Shiranui Genma was a shinobi of Konoha, and he wasn't going to go down like that, he decided. He stumbled in the gates of the Village looking more like something the cat dragged in, covered in mud and blood, practically falling over. Kotetsu grabbed him as he came in the gate and teleported them off to the hospital, passing him off into the capable hands of Haruno Sakura.

Iruka wound up getting a message in the middle of the night, since he was still the first person on Genma's contact list. He was worn down from several days of impersonating Genma, especially since there had been a bit of a crisis involving a crazed Jounin that Iruka wound up having to stop himself, because there wasn't time to get help. Iruka wasn't really any match for the man, with his low chakra supply, but he'd managed to trick his way out of the situation, barely. So when an already-shaken Iruka heard that his oldest friend had returned from his mission half-dead, he didn't take it well.

He found himself sitting in the hospital, still chewing on a senbon as if he were imitating Genma, even though he wasn't at the moment. He finally took it out of his mouth and stabbed it into the pressure point between his finger and thumb, hoping to calm himself. It worked, a little, he though, because his head became clear enough to realize he should really be talking to Raidou about now instead of sitting here waiting alone for Sakura to finish working on Genma.

Half an hour later, Iruka was back at the hospital, this time with the larger scar-faced shinobi in tow. The two sat in silence for a while, and then Raidou said, "That wasn't one of the poisoned ones, was it, Iruka-kun?" He pointed at the senbon still lodged in Iruka's hand.

Iruka followed his eyes, pulled it out sheepishly, and put it back in his mouth.

"Forgot I put that there. Not poisoned, exactly. It's got a mild sedative on it. I always use that when I play Genma, because it gets a little stressful for me. So it's double-soothing, when I use that acupuncture point and a sedative."

Raidou nodded slowly, then looked at Iruka inquisitively. "So, you've known for a while now, right? I mean, what I think about Genma…"

Iruka shrugged. "I was pretty sure last time you were in here, actually, but I haven't said anything to him about it" He remembered making an offhand comment about opening his eyes and ears, but surely that didn't count since he hadn't mentioned Raidou exactly when he said it. "I kind of wish you would just tell him, so you two could work it out."

Raidou shrugged. "Kind of stuff's not easy for me," he said and then let the silence settle in again. It wasn't much longer when Sakura emerged.

She looked around and spotted Iruka and Raidou, slumped into chairs in the waiting area. Sighing, the medic-nin ran her hands through her pink hair and made her way over to them. "Iruka-sensei, Raidou-san," she started. "Genma is going to be fine. He had a lot of minor injuries, but no major ones, except a bit of poison damage. He would be dead if he hadn't built up a tolerance to this particular poison, but instead it's just wreaking havoc on his system. I'd let you see him, but I don't want to have to pass out antidotes to the whole village. I already have to find Kotetsu and Izumo and make sure they take it." She glowered at Iruka. "Why do you still use that, Iruka-sensei, and why did you give it to him?"

Iruka sighed, and stabbed the senbon into his other hand this time. "Because it works, Sakura-chan. He was on a solo mission, so it shouldn't have been a danger of infecting anyone else, except that he used it too close to the time he came home. Still, sometimes that kind of tactic works when nothing else does."

"He would have been dead otherwise," Sakura conceded. "He told me the circumstances, and I can't believe he made it back as it is. Still, I don't want to have to deal with a plague because of this, so no one goes in that room." She held up a hand to stop Iruka's argument before it could start. "Not even you, Iruka-sensei. I know you're pretty much immune to this thing, but I won't take any risks. I had to expend almost as much chakra protecting myself as healing your friend, I'm tired, and I just want to go home and rest. So get the hell out of here, and come back tomorrow!" With that, the kunoichi turned on her heel and stomped away, and Iruka and Raidou stood there looking after her in awe.


	2. Chapter 2: Seen and Unseen

Chapter 2: Seen and Unseen

"Are you sure you want to go home alone?" Iruka asked Raidou for about the fifth time as they were leaving the hospital.

"Iruka, stop!" Raidou replied, rubbing his eyes wearily. "Just let me go home and get some rest, and I'll see you in the morning. Genma's fine, I'm fine, we'll be fine, okay?" Then he paused, having a moment of insight. "Is Kakashi back from his mission yet, Iruka?"

Iruka sighed. "Not that I know of, though he should have been back tonight. You're right, I'm the one who doesn't want to be alone. Go on home, though, Rai, I'll be all right."

Raidou grinned. "Are you suuure?" he asked teasingly, dodging the fist that went flying by his face and taking off at a run. Iruka, laughing, turned the other way to walk home slowly.

He blamed his lack of perception on the sedative in his system and the stress he'd been under, when he failed to catch the familiar chakra until he was already in his apartment. "You were out late, Sensei," came the quiet voice, directed at him from his couch where a tall, lean man with messy silver hair was sprawled. He was dressed in nothing but a smile, but even the smile went away when he saw Iruka, and caught the smell of blood coming from him. "What's wrong? What happened?" he said, jumping up and crossing the floor quickly.

Iruka shrugged. "Genma came home in bad shape from his mission. He had to use an Umino Special, and Sakura's paranoid about it, so she won't let anyone see him yet. Rai and I were at the hospital for a while. Sakura says he'll be okay, but I guess it was a messy situation, and I've spent the past few days doing his job for him, and it was just too much stress for me."

"I'm sorry. If I'd known, I could have been there with you, but I came straight here and figured I'd wait for you." Kakashi paused, thinking. "If you didn't get to see Genma, why do I smell blood on you? And what do you mean, doing his job?"

The Chuunin shrugged off his vest, took Kakashi's hand, and led him over to the couch, where they sat together in silence for a moment. Kakashi pulled off Iruka's hitae-ate and hair-tie, and then managed to get his shirt off without any protest. He didn't see any injuries, and there didn't seem to be any blood on Iruka's clothes, but his nose didn't lie. Still, he had to be patient with Iruka, so he counted off time in his head, trying to decide how long to give his lover before he decided something more serious was wrong and he needed medical attention.

"I shouldn't really tell you about Genma's job, you don't have the clearance," Iruka said, so softly Kakashi barely heard him. "Just… if you see me dressed like him, I'm doing his job, and don't bother me, okay?" He paused, then held out both his hands, showing the tops of them to Kakashi. There was a bit of dried blood crusted between his thumb and his first finger on each hand. "Acupuncture. Calming myself down. You know how that particular pressure point tends to bleed more than some others, and the sedative I keep on the senbon when I'm playing Genma tends to make it bleed more. Nothing to worry about."

Kakashi leaned down and kissed each hand, softly, then wrapped Iruka into his arms. His mind was spinning. He and Iruka had only been together a short time, and too much of that had been spent with him away on missions, and he still felt out of sorts whenever he realized how much about Iruka he didn't know. Not only was Genma apparently doing some kind of secret work, Iruka did it as well, and dressed like Genma to do so? And who exactly was going to be fooled by Iruka dressed as Genma? It was obviously some kind of either intelligence or guarding thing, but why would Iruka and Genma in particular be doing it? He remembered Iruka telling him he had special clearance in terms of Genma, now that he thought about it, but there had been other things on his mind at the time and he hadn't really thought about it.

Iruka relaxed back into Kakashi's arms, feeling Kakashi's bare chest on his back. He grinned a bit, thinking how his lover had been waiting for him naked, and was a little sad that he'd wasted that opportunity. Kakashi didn't say anything about it though, just held him and let him rest, and pretended not to know what Iruka was talking about when he said, "Thank you."

Quite a bit later, Iruka shifted and turned around so he could see Kakashi's face. "Hey, Kashi, if you didn't know about Genma's job, why did you want me to give him that rumor about us?"

Kakashi smiled. "He's a gossip, and it'd be fun." Then he gave a serious look. "Besides, the fact that you were the first person I'd let have me in that way eased a lot of people's concerns about our relationship, didn't it? My reputation couldn't have looked good to your friends, even or perhaps especially the ones who are also my friends. Besides that, it was the rumor that drew so much attention to you that you didn't really have the option of retreating again without it triggering any alarms, and it distracted you enough to calm you down a bit about the whole situation you were in, whatever that situation really was. Which I still don't need to know."

Iruka's jaw dropped. "You actually thought of all that in the split second before asking me to spread that rumor?"

Kakashi's smile was back, brighter than before. "Well, I am a genius, you know!"

Iruka didn't reply, but kissed him and let his hands roam over Kakashi's still naked body. Maybe he wasn't going to waste this opportunity after all, he decided.

Raidou lay in bed alone, his eyes wide open, even though he was exhausted. He'd had a mission himself that day, and had pretty much just finished reporting in and returned home when Iruka had come to find him, so he really did need rest. Instead, he was thinking about Genma, and about Iruka, and what Iruka had said to him. He hadn't told Iruka how long he had managed to keep the secret of his feelings for Genma, hadn't said that he had only worked up the courage to even hint at such feelings after he found out Iruka was involved with someone else. Even when they were younger, when Iruka had pretty much only been "that kid that hangs out with Genma" to him, Raidou had held Genma more precious to him than anyone else.

It was a strange situation, that. If you asked Genma who his best friend was, he'd say "Iruka" without hesitation. And yet even Iruka had said, "Anything Genma knows, Raidou knows," and that was almost but not quite true. There was the occasional thing Genma didn't tell Raidou, out of respect for someone else's privacy, but the two were together a lot and shared pretty much everything.

Raidou had thought things would get easier over the years. They were older now, old for shinobi, old to still be alive and in this business. He'd expected to find someone else, to let go, to let Genma go whatever way he was going to go. He had dated other people, mostly women, but it never quite worked out. It wasn't fair to them, really, and he couldn't keep it up for long before his guilt made him drive them away. He'd thought Genma and Iruka would always be together, until he realized that they were actually pretty bad for each other as lovers, too intense for any kind of stability. When they'd broken up, he'd thought of saying something, but never found the nerve as he saw Genma flit from one bed to another. Raidou simply didn't know what to say, and as much as he wanted to be with Genma, he was also afraid of adding himself to that list of conquests, or walking in Iruka's shadow for the rest of his life. So he'd said nothing, and waited, and fervently hoped the pain would dull.

He turned to his side, facing a picture on his nightstand that his eyes couldn't make out, but his mind had memorized. Himself and Genma at about twenty, lounging in a tree as if they were some kind of exotic jungle cats. Iruka had snapped the picture without warning, and the flash had startled Genma, who had toppled down, bringing Raidou with him so that they landed in a heap on the ground. Iruka had laughed so hard he'd cried, but Genma had kissed Raidou and apologized, and it was the only time Genma had ever kissed him. Afterwards, neither of them had spoken about it, and Iruka had only smiled, saying nothing, despite the fact that he and Genma had been an item for a while by then.

Iruka had claimed he'd only noticed the last time Raidou was in the hospital, but thinking back, Raidou suspected he'd known before then. Perhaps he'd even known the day the picture was taken, and that was why he'd smiled instead of protesting that his boyfriend was kissing someone else. Or maybe Iruka hadn't known and he was just the kind of person who didn't care about such things. Who knew? Iruka was so open about most things that it was impossible to tell what he was hiding, his constant honesty making him the perfect liar in an ironic way.

Shaking his head to clear it, Raidou told himself he really had to go to sleep. Tomorrow, he'd be able to see Genma, and maybe then he would take Iruka's advice and say something. They weren't getting any younger, and for all he knew next time Genma wouldn't beat the odds and make it back. It was far past time to do something about this damn heartache that had been following him around for as long as he could remember.


	3. Chapter 3: Cowardice and Courage

Chapter 3: Cowardice and Courage

"You're a coward," Raidou said gruffly to his reflection. The shiny skin of the scars across his cheek mocked him as usual, and he wondered if he was ever going to learn to look in a mirror without staring at them. They didn't bother him when he was working, or even out with his friends, but here in front of the mirror he hated them. "You're a pathetic coward, and you're never going to be happy unless you get past your fear," he continued, berating the face in the mirror.

He was late already. He hadn't set a specific time to meet Iruka at the hospital, so he wasn't technically late, but he also knew Iruka would already be there. Iruka had probably been there for a while now, whether Kakashi had come home yet or not. Iruka was always wherever Genma needed him, no matter what else was going on. Raidou, on the other hand, was a coward, and couldn't do anything but stand there trying to talk some sense into himself in the mirror.

He snarled at himself, and finally turned away. He was going to the hospital, and he was going to see Genma, and he was going to say something. What, he didn't know yet, but something clever and witty and beautiful enough that Genma would have to love him back, no matter what.

Iruka and Kakashi were indeed already at the hospital. They had arrived as soon as they thought they would be allowed to visit, and spent half an hour lounging in Genma's room together making small talk with the wounded man. Then Kakashi stood, walked over to Genma's bedside, and laid a hand softly on his shoulder. "I have to get going or I'll be late, but… I'm glad to see you still alive, you know?"

Genma grinned. "Why, Kakashi, I didn't know you were capable of such sweet words!" He rolled his eyes. "Can't be late for your date with your own misery, of course. Go on." Kakashi didn't comment on Genma's jibe, but squeezed his shoulder lightly and turned to go, pausing to give Iruka a kiss on the cheek on his way out.

"So, Ruka, you saved my life again, you know?" Genma said quietly when Kakashi was gone.

Iruka laughed. "You know as well as I do that you helped me develop those tags, Gen-chan. Just because we call them 'Umino Specials' don't mean I did it all on my own."

Genma shook his head. "I just helped you decided which poison to use, you're the one who had the bright idea to link it to a tag in that way, and the one who figured out how to get it to spread like some kind of plague. Besides, I didn't carry those tags anymore until you gave me that batch."

The only response to that was a shrug. "You're welcome, then, I guess." Iruka sounded sad, and tired, and Genma looked at him curiously.

"Give me your hands, Ruka-kun," he said softly, and Iruka walked over to sit on the edge of the bed and held out his hands. Sure enough, scabs were forming between his thumb and first finger on each hand. Genma kissed one and then the other, softly. Then he folded them both onto the bed under one of his own. "You know, Iruka, acupuncture is all good, but you have got to stop stabbing yourself with laced senbon. I don't care how mild it is, you use more of that sedative each time, and you're poisoning yourself."

"That's rich, Genma, really. You're in the hospital and giving me health advice!" said Iruka, his tone light but his smile brilliant.

Genma knew that smile. That smile had been the first thing he noticed about his friend, back when they were kids. That damn smile that Iruka wore when the world was cruel to him, when his parents died and everyone ignored him and there was no beauty anywhere in the world for him anymore. He hated that smile, and hated himself for not being able to make Iruka not need it anymore. "I'm sorry," he said softly.

Iruka knew exactly what Genma was apologizing for, and it wasn't giving him health advice. "It's nothing," he said, his face settling into a softer smile. "You can read all about it when you get back to work, and you'll understand. For right now, though, you have to get better. I can't have you dying on me, and Raidou…" he paused, remembering that wasn't really his place to talk about.

"Raidou?" asked Genma. "Is he on a mission or something?"

Iruka shook his head. "Sakura didn't tell you that he was here with me last night? We waited until she made us leave, you know, but she wouldn't let us see you. Raidou will be by any minute now to see you, he was exhausted last night from his own mission, so maybe he just overslept."

"Oh," said Genma. "Good, he'd better come see me. You gonna stay? Maybe we could play cards or something. He might even let me win if I play up the 'almost died' bit, you think?" He grinned widely at that thought, and Iruka thought how weird it was to see him grin without a senbon stuck in his mouth.

"I can't stay, actually," Iruka said, suddenly, making a quick decision. "I actually have to get back to work soon, but I wanted to see you. Tsunade's going to be yelling at me soon as it is. But I'll wait with you until Raidou gets here, okay?"

Genma nodded, still holding his hand over both of Iruka's. "I don't want to get you in trouble, but I'm glad you're here. I thought I was going to die, yesterday, more so than usual I mean. I had a bad feeling about the mission before I went, I'm sure you noticed, and when things went bad, I was pretty sure I wasn't going to make it." His voice was calm, Iruka noticed, and didn't know whether to smile at his friend's courage or cry for his quiet acceptance of the inevitability of death. The moment passed, though, and they went on to speak of lighter things, though Iruka noticed Genma never let go of his hands.

When Raidou entered the hospital room, the two men greeted him with smiles, and Iruka slipped off the edge of the bed, pulling his hands from Genma's grasp. He leaned down and kissed the top of the man's head, running a hand softly through his light brown hair. "I'm going now, Gen-chan, but I'm sure Rai will take good care of you." He paused as he walked past Raidou, and whispered one word to him on the way out the door… "Courage."

Silence fell. Raidou found himself sitting in the spot Iruka had vacated, and his mind did all kinds of fun things with that thought. He looked at Genma's hand lying against the sheets, about how Iruka's hands had been trapped by it when he came into the room. Those two touched so easily, and he wondered what it would be like to touch Genma like that. Hesitantly, he stretched out his own slightly larger, darker hand and laid it over Genma's, almost experimentally.

Genma cocked an eyebrow at his friend. "Rai, umm… not that I don't like it when you touch me, but…" When Raidou tried to pull his hand away, Genma quickly grabbed it back, not caring that the move hurt like hell considering his injuries. "I'd really like to know what's going on here," he said quietly.

Raidou's eyes widened about as much as Genma had ever seen them, and he sounded like he was choking for a moment. "Courage," he said softly, remembering Iruka's whisper on his way out the door. "Courage," he repeated. Genma was looking at him like he was crazy, and Raidou sighed. "Sorry. You know how bad I am at talking."

"Okay, so we'll take it step by step," said Genma simply, switching into analysis mode. "You call me 'Gen-chan' lately, pretty much since Iruka started showing interest in Kakashi. You hugged me the other day, for the first time since we were kids. You're starting to look at me more and more sadly whenever I'm whining about my continuing obsession with Iruka, but you don't say anything about it. You and Iruka have been looking at each other strangely in my presence, as if he's trying to get you to say something, and you're not saying it."

Raidou nodded, numbly. He had been transparent, now that Genma put it that way, and apparently he had forgotten that reading people was what Genma did. "So, what's your conclusion, based on all that?"

"I'm not making it that easy on you, Rai-rai," chided Genma gently. "I'm telling you I already know, but you're still going to have to say it if you want me to give you an answer."

Raidou tried to pull his trapped hand away, but Genma wouldn't let go, and he wasn't willing to possibly hurt him forcing him to let go. So he reached up with his free hand and covered the scars on his face, as if doing so would hide his weakness. He saw a sad look pass over Genma's face at this motion though, so he resolutely took his hand away from his face, dropping it into his lap. "You're not going to laugh at me, are you?" he asked, but Genma just rolled his eyes. Raidou agreed, inwardly, that such a question didn't really deserve an answer, not between people who had been friends as long as they had. "I've always been in love with you, I think," he said, very quietly.

"Always?" asked Genma, genuinely surprised. "Rai, why didn't you say something before now, if it's like that?"

Raidou shrugged. "Not good at the talking thing. You know that."

Genma sat there for a moment, staring at his oldest friend, and then shook his head. "How did I not know before?"

Raidou snorted. "I think you know the answer to that question."

And Genma did know the answer. The answer had been sitting in the exact spot where Raidou sat now just a few minutes ago, in fact. "I'm so sorry, Rai," he said softly, then realized how the other man would interpret his words, and rushed on. "Sorry for not noticing, I mean. Sorry for being a blind idiot." Raidou simply shrugged, and stood. He would have moved away from the side of Genma's bed, but Genma held on tight to his hand.

Raidou turned back to his friend, "Please let go of me, Genma," he said calmly.

"No, I won't. You came to see me, didn't you? I nearly died, you're not leaving me now!"

"That's low, Gen-chan," said Raidou softly.

Genma's first thought was to respond with "If you can be humble in your methods, you can have pride in your results," but he was pretty sure it was a bad time for an Iruka saying. Instead, he asked honestly, "Raidou, I love you too, you know."

"Yeah, I know," Raidou said grudgingly, sitting back down on the edge of the bed. "Not quite the same, though, is it?"

Genma shook his head. "It's not, but I'd like to see if it could be."

Raidou looked at his friend curiously. "Genma, are you sure you're not just being nice?"

"Am I known for being nice?"

"No, you're not. But I'm not just anyone, and you could be just being nice to me," countered Raidou.

"You're not just anyone, Rai, that's the point," replied Genma quietly, squeezing his friend's hand. "Give me a chance, idiot. If you've been in love with me all this time anyway, are you really not going to give me a chance now that I'm asking?"

"You know I am, Gen-chan, but... I wasn't going to make it that easy on you!" He caught the fist that Genma swung at him clumsily with his free hand and then said merrily, "Can't beat me up in the hospital, Gen-chan, not even when you're the one injured!"


	4. Chapter 4: Withdrawing and Advancing

Chapter 4: Withdrawing and Advancing

"When are you getting out of the hospital?" Iruka asked Genma the next morning. It felt odd to be sitting in Genma's hospital room while dressed as Genma himself, especially since Genma was without most of his signature items at the moment.

"Today, I hope. At least it better be today, because I am definitely not ill enough to be here anymore. And… I have other things to be doing."

"Like your job so I can stop doing it?" asked Iruka teasingly. "Or starting a new relationship perhaps?" he added with a wink.

"How long did you know he felt that way?" asked Genma, suddenly drawing in on himself as if to be further way from his friend, who was sitting in a chair by his hospital bed.

Iruka shrugged. "I suspected off and on for years, but it never seemed that serious. Even when you and I were first together, it seemed like Raidou had some kind of interest there, but… it just wasn't anything that he seemed to want to pursue. And I would have said something later, but by then it seemed like it would be wrong to tell his secret, after he'd kept it so diligently for so long. I did try to get him to tell you before, though, and I tried to hint at it with you the night I put that tattoo on your face. The night before last, though, and yesterday… I was kind of trying to give him a push. For both your sakes."

"Our lives are strange, aren't they? It wasn't long ago that you were talking to me about Kakashi, and now you helped convince Raidou to confess to me, but…" Genma paused, looking down at his hands. "Nothing really changed between you and I, did it?"

Iruka thought about that one for a moment. Genma was being serious, so he deserved a real answer. He reached up to pull the bandana from his head and run his fingers through his dark hair, twisting it around his fingers as he spoke. "No, nothing changed really. Look at me, I'm pretending to be you without even using a jutsu, just like old times, as if it were fooling anyone. And yesterday morning when you were upset, you clung to my hands as if letting them go would be the end of the world. Nothing ever changes between us, Gen-chan."

"And Kakashi doesn't care?" asked Genma softly, reaching out to pull Iruka's fingers from where they were tangling in his hair, then twirling the hair around his own hand. It was so rare to see Iruka without his ponytail.

Iruka shrugged. "The one time we really talked about it, he made me feel silly for having worried what he thought. He makes jokes about you and I, calls you silly things, but he doesn't mind our friendship, or whatever it is. But Raidou?"

Genma shook his head. "I don't think Raidou's really thought about it, except that he's tired of hearing me whine about you. Since he knew us then, and he knows why we're not together anymore, I can't really see him saying anything. Besides, I don't know yet what's going to happen with Raidou."

"So what are you really asking me, Gen-chan?" asked Iruka, watching Genma's dexterous fingers twine through his hair idly.

"I don't know. It's just that I haven't really been involved with anyone since you, not seriously. It feels weird to even think about it, but it's Raidou! What could I say to him? He's been one of the most important people to me my entire life, and it's not really that I hadn't ever thought about it, just that…" he trailed off.

Iruka gently pried Genma's hand out of his hair and replaced the bandana-style hitae-ate on his head. "There was always me," he said gently, "even after we weren't together anymore. Your focus has always been on me, even though Raidou was right there and looking at you the way he does. You didn't ignore it on purpose, but you didn't look either, and I didn't do anything to discourage you from focusing on me." He sighed and stood up. "I'm going to go now, Gen-chan. I need a bit of a break from all this. If you need me, you know where to find me, but I'm going to try to let you and Raidou work things out a bit without me butting in, okay?"

Genma looked for a moment as if he might panic, and then he said, "Do you have any clean senbon?"

Iruka smiled, and reached into his vest for one. "Here. Brought one for you on purpose, actually."

Once Genma had the senbon in his mouth, he felt a little better. "Hey, Ruka, you're not going to run away on me again, are you?"

"No. Never. I told you, you know where to find me if you need me. I just don't want to get in the way here, because you and Rai have some things to work out. I wish you the best of luck, and I hope you do get out of the hospital today." He hovered for a moment, indecisively, and then gave in and leaned down to kiss Genma's forehead affectionately. "Don't screw things up, okay, Gen-chan?"

Genma smirked, flipping his senbon from one side of his mouth to the other. "Don't worry, I won't mess it up. Besides, I'm not sure I could if I tried… Rai's always been better than anyone at keeping me in line." The two friends laughed at this, and Iruka took his leave quietly, off to another day of acting like a complete idiot by pretending to be Genma in a very obvious manner. Crude, but it worked, he thought with a shrug, and dug out a senbon to stick in his mouth.

"I got the day off," said Raidou quietly, entering the hospital room less than an hour later.

Genma smiled up at him happily. "That's good, because they're about to send me home, so you can help me get there and everything!"

"I'm glad," replied Raidou. He was lingering by the door, as if not quite sure if he wanted to sit down or not. "I see you got a senbon finally. I thought Tsunade said you couldn't have one, some kind of weird punishment or something?"

Genma shrugged. "I'm leaving soon anyway, and she didn't tell Iruka he couldn't give me one, so of course I didn't tell him either. He was here this morning, before he headed off to work."

"Dressed up like you again?"

Genma laughed. "That never gets old somehow. Though it's a little sad that our silly prank had to turn into a work thing. He hates doing my job. But I don't want to talk about him, Rai."

Raidou raised an eyebrow, then ducked his head and rubbed at his scar. "You don't have to say that, you know. It's okay to talk about him."

"It is, and we will, because he's our friend. But I don't want to right now, okay? I want to talk about what we're going to do today after I get out of the hospital. I can't really go out or anything, but I was thinking you could hang out at my place with me, since you have the day off and all."

Raidou nodded. "Of course." He still hadn't moved any further into the room, though, and Genma wondered if it was because they were going to be leaving or because he was that uncomfortable. He didn't have time to mention it, though, because a nurse bustled in to give him the all clear to leave, and then he was getting ready and they were getting out the door. He clung to Raidou as they walked down the street even though he didn't need to, just for his own amusement, and Raidou helped him as stoically as he had any other time a wounded, drunk, or otherwise incapacitated Genma had hung off him.

Once back at Genma's place, Raidou found himself being shoved down onto the couch. Genma took a seat very close to him. "We have to talk about something, Rai," said Genma. Raidou wasn't comfortable, and he wanted to ask Genma to move, but he wasn't sure if that would be all right or not.

"I lied. We have to talk about Iruka, sort of." Genma started, taking his senbon out and twirling it with his fingers. "You're not Iruka. You're not going to be all touchy-feely with me all the time, and that's fine. You're Raidou, and I've never pushed you to act in ways you aren't comfortable with, have I?"

Raidou shook his head, shifting uncomfortably as if he wanted to move away from Genma, but at the same time knowing he really wanted to be closer too. "You haven't."

Genma put the senbon back in his mouth and turned so that he could look Raidou in the eyes. "So, here's the thing. I don't want to push you now either. We basically decided we were going to be together, though, right?"

Raidou's pulse raced. Was that what they had decided? Genma had said he wanted to give it a chance, sure, but it hadn't seemed that conclusive at the time. "I hope so?" Raidou responded awkwardly.

"Right, so, if we're going to be together, we're going to have to figure out what's natural for us in that relationship. I know you've spent years hiding your feelings, because I'm an idiot and you're an idiot and whatever else, but you don't have to do it now. So if you want to touch me, or tell me something, it's okay. And if you don't want to, that's okay too, though too much of the no-touchy and I'm going to wonder if I've lost my charm," he added with a wink, trying to lighten things up before he really scared Raidou off.

Raidou's mind suddenly started grasping one thing after another in rapid succession. Just yesterday he had tentatively reached out to touch Genma's hand, and just a few days before that he had awkwardly hugged him. And now, today, Genma was saying they were together, and he could touch him, and it would be okay. And joking about Raidou denying him sex, if Raidou understood right. "Gen-chan," he said, wonderingly. He knew what he wanted to say, but he couldn't say it, and he found himself holding his hand over his scarred face again.

Genma reached up to pull Raidou's hand away from his face with one hand, grabbing the senbon out of his mouth and throwing it at the wall behind him without looking with the other hand. Then he was kissing Raidou's scars, and saying "Don't cover your face with me, Rai, please," so close to Raidou's face. Then he leaned back, giving the other man his space again, and Raidou felt as if the world had just fallen away from him. "You wanted to say that you hadn't thought about it, hadn't believed that I really wanted to be your lover, didn't you?" Genma said softly.

Raidou nodded numbly. Leave it to Genma to know what he was thinking. "You said you wanted to see if you loving me could turn into you being in love with me. And then just now you were talking about me touching you, and joking about sex, and I realized what all this meant." He paused.

Genma laughed. "Well, you certainly don't have to worry about having sex with me today, Rai. I did just get out of the hospital, and while I might do the casual sex bit sometimes, I'm certainly not going to jump into bed right away with someone I want a real relationship with. Not even you, or perhaps especially not you. I didn't mean to make you nervous with this discussion; I just hoped you wouldn't hover around me or sit across the room or something dumb like that, okay?"

Raidou smiled, and moved away just a tiny bit, just enough so his leg wasn't touching Genma's anymore. Once he'd done that, he felt more comfortable, and a lot braver. He leaned forward just enough to give Genma the barest of kisses, just a brush across the lips really. Genma smiled at him happily, and Raidou put his arm around him, and they sat like that on the couch for quite a while, slipping into easy banter just like they would any other time.


	5. Chapter 5: Work and Play

dissent

Chapter 5: Work and Play

A few days later, Iruka walked in to join Genma in the secret file room in the Hokage Tower, where Genma was sitting with folders scattered around him on the floor. Iruka had come in wearing civilian clothes: a comfortable pair of workout pants and a t-shirt with the words "Teachers Know All The Tricks" on it. He word no headband and his hair was loose. Even though the man looked exhausted, Genma couldn't help smiling at the fact that his hair was down.

"It sounds like I missed a lot," he said casually.

Iruka laughed harshly. "Yeah, you could put it that way." He took a seat next to Genma, pushing a few things out of the way.

"So, people are still giving Nara Shikamaru trouble about his relationship with the Sand ninja, despite the fact our treaty with them has held for a while now?" Genma asked. "How ridiculous is that?"

Iruka's laugh this time was a bit more friendly. "Starting with the easy stuff, huh? Yeah, Shikamaru-kun is still getting some trouble over that. I don't think there's much we can do about it, but there were a couple of people who refused to work with him over it, and Tsunade needs to figure out how to deal with such pettiness." He paused, then picked up a file and flipped it open. "Hyuuga Hiashi has gone more paranoid than usual, we need to keep an eye on that. It's hard to deal with the Hyuuga clan period, but we're going to have to keep an eye out at least. Also, Anko's curse seal gave her a bit of a problem a few days ago, and that's going to have to be looked into."

Genma sighed. "Poor Anko. She gets so tired of always being watched so closely, but there's really nothing else anyone can do."

Iruka nodded. "Other than that, the big news is all Sasuke stuff. People are really freaked out about Tsunade letting him go on missions, but Naruto is with him, and sometimes Sakura, and they're doing very well. Still, that might cause some real dissent, and we already had someone try to get a shift on his "guard team" that we're pretty sure meant to do him harm, but Ibiki-san is working on figuring that out."

Genma reached out and grabbed each of Iruka's hands from where they rested on his legs, inspecting them carefully. Iruka didn't fight him at all, knowing what Genma was looking for. To his surprise and delight, there weren't any fresh marks there, which meant Iruka had been letting up on punching holes in himself. "You still haven't told me the other big part, though," he said softly, dropping Iruka's hands.

"I know. I wish you could just read the report, but I suppose I ought to tell you so you can ask me questions or whatever." Iruka paused. "Heiji-san is dead. I heard a rumor, originally through Anko, and then later confirmed by a couple of others, that he was acting strangely. So, as our orders direct, I went to check it out, expecting to file the report after seeing what was going on with my own eyes. If it had been you, it wouldn't have been a problem to take care of it… but I'm not you."

Genma sat silently and waited for his friend to continue his story, and Iruka sighed and turned so he was leaning his back against Genma's side. Genma, recognizing the gesture, reached out and pulled Iruka into his arms. "When I got to his place, he was putting together his things as if he were going somewhere. He exited his home, and walked towards the outskirts of town, and I was ready to report back about it, but then I saw that he was meeting a few others. One of them was his daughter, you know, the one that's about eight years old, and the other was a Genin who is known to be a friend of hers.."

"It happened so quickly, I didn't even have time to think. Heiji grabbed his daughter and put a sword to her throat, and was talking to the Genin. I don't know if it was just some kind of stupid plan to make sure he escaped, or if there was something he wanted the Genin to bring him, because I couldn't hear and he wasn't facing me to read his lips. So I did the only thing I could do… I replaced the girl with myself, and told her and the Genin to run for help. So then I was fighting a Jounin by myself, starting out at a disadvantage because he was holding onto me with a sword pressed to my throat. You can read about the whole fight in the report, but… I had to use some of my best tricks to get out of it. And his daughter wouldn't run away, but stood there cowering and watching, and twice I had to nearly get myself killed protecting her. I finally caught him with one of my wire traps, but it was a close thing. He was going to kill his own daughter, Genma! I thought it was a bluff at first, but when he kept going for her during the fight… and then even after I caught him he was laughing at me for being a fool to care so much. Apparently he wound up dying during questioning somehow, but I haven't asked for the details."

Genma was stroking Iruka's hair soothingly. "I'll get those details from Ibiki later, Ruka-kun, and from all the reports. You did a good job."

"I didn't really. You could have dealt with the situation better, I think. Not only that, but all of this… the whole job that you do, I'm really not cut out for it. You have no idea how many times I've wanted to kill people while you've been away. Not just Heiji, who was obviously actually trying to defect, but all the idiots who still say bad things about Naruto, and the people throwing fits over Shikamaru's relationship with Temari, and the Hyuugas still arguing their succession and clan politics and all that junk. I can't look at all these things impassively and pick them apart the way you do, deciding which things are important. I'm too emotional."

"It's a hard thing to do, taking a step back like that," admitted Genma. "When you first got me started doing that job in the first place, I would get torn up every time I heard something bad, or untrue, or just plain cruel. Learning to take a step back and not feel those things was hard, and… it's just really not right for you. You shouldn't have to fill in for me, but there really isn't anyone else with the proper clearances, or the skill really. You say you aren't good at it because it tears you up inside, but outwardly everything has been done just as well as I would do it," said Genma. He sat there, holding onto Iruka, soothing him, until he could feel the other man calm.

"Don't let go," said Iruka, when he felt Genma beginning to loosen his grip on him. "Can't we go over everything with me sitting here?"

Genma nodded, and they proceeded to run through all the other random bits of gossip that might need attention, and the observations Iruka had made about the shinobi he'd seen over the past few days. When all the business was out of the way, Iruka asked, "How are things going with Raidou?"

"He's Raidou," said Genma with a shrug. "It's funny being with him. He's still being kind of awkward, like he doesn't believe I really want to be with him. We've had some fun though, even gone on what you could call 'dates'. But I'm starting to really wish I could just tackle him into bed, because we don't seem to be making much progress with the touching thing, and I'm really getting antsy about it."

Iruka grinned. "Awww, poor little Gen-chan isn't getting any!"

Genma poked him in the side. "Shut up, you! I can handle it, but it's just strange because he's stayed at my house like every night since we first decided we were going out, but not much has happened. The most we do is kiss, and while he's very good at that, I want more! I can understand why he's being this way, though. He's still really shocked at having a chance with me, when he's dreamed about it for so long, and he's still really unsure about my feelings. He feels like if anything happens between us before I'm sure how I feel, he's just going to be another one of my random bedmates, and we know I've had plenty of those."

Iruka laughed. "Maybe he's worried he'll catch something, since that's the case!"

Another poke from Genma, and Iruka pulled away from him enough to be out of reach. "I got tested, stupid! Besides, I seem to remember you whining because Kakashi didn't let you fuck him on the first date, even after you pretty much threw yourself at him. So you shouldn't make fun of me!"

The blush that spread across Iruka's face was beautiful, and Genma found himself amazed again at how such tan skin could still show a blush. "Yes, yes, you're right. I tend to be rather impatient about such things myself sometimes, and if it were me in your place, I'd be whining too. Can you talk to him about it, or would that just make things worse? And have you tried your full-on Shiranui Seduction Tactics?"

"I think that would scare him away," Genma admitted. "It will be all right, one way or another. I'm sure once he gets comfortable with our relationship, we'll be all right."

"You sound like you really want this to work," said Iruka with a small smile.

"I do," said Genma softly. "I can't explain it. At first I thought I should give it a try because I love Rai so much, and he's one of my closest friends, and I was so lonely… but now it seems like it's the right thing to do for a billion other reasons. You should see him, Iruka, when he actually lets all his walls down and just is himself… he's so beautiful. He isn't talking very well with me still right now, but I have faith that soon he'll be over that, and after that happens… I think things will be great between us. I wonder if perhaps I'm already in love with him and just don't really understand it fully yet."

"I'm so happy for you, Gen-chan," Iruka said honestly, standing. "I'm glad to hear it's going well, even if you might be a little sexually frustrated right now." At this, he stuck out his tongue.

Genma stood as well, and then lunged at Iruka, delivering an obviously pulled punch to his gut. "Get outta here, boy. This is my area again now, and I don't want to see you around here for a long time, okay?"

"Gladly!" declared Iruka. "Get back to work, lazybones, and it might keep your mind off all that sex you're not getting!" Then a mischievous glint came into his eyes, and his posture melted into his best seductive pose. "I'm going home to see Kakashi now, and I think I'm going to try to get him to engage in a little bit of bondage, maybe play the sub for me a bit… you know how sexy I am when I'm in charge…" he trailed off.

Genma licked his lips. "Yes, Sensei, you are quite sexy in charge. Now get the hell out before I jump you, okay?"

Iruka went, smiling all the way.


	6. Chapter 6: Tender and Tough

Chapter 6: Tender and Tough

"I'm home!" yelled Genma, to his empty house. Having a big house was great until you were lonely. A week ago he had come home from his meeting with Iruka to find a note that said simply:

_G_

_Mission. 2-3 days. Miss you._

_R_

He was happy Raidou had left him a note at least, considering otherwise he would have assumed Raidou had just gone home to the apartment he was paying for and not living in at the moment. What a weird relationship, he thought, considering the man hadn't slept in his own bed once since they'd left the hospital, even though the relationship was so new. It was disorienting.

Genma's house was huge and old and empty. It hadn't seemed so a week before, when he'd woken up to Raidou muttering next to him in his sleep and had to wake him up. Carefully, so as not to suffer accidental death or anything. He grinned at that thought, thinking of Iruka, and how well his friend had recovered from the depression he'd been in not so long ago.

Iruka. Always Iruka. In his head, right there, all the time, even now. Genma went downstairs to his basement training room and peppered a target with senbon, trying to clear his mind. When that didn't work, he moved on to more physical training, beating his punching bag into oblivion. Genma had never been good at handling being alone. That was how he'd gotten his bad reputation in the first place, hopping from one bed to another after his breakup with Iruka. It wasn't about the sex. Well, okay, sometimes it was about the sex. Just as often, however, it was about just wanting to not be alone. Now he was with Raidou, and he was happy about that, but he was alone at the moment and he didn't like that at all.

Sighing, he stripped out of his sweaty clothes on his way upstairs to shower. The cool water felt good on his overheated skin, and he had to force himself to get out and dry off after what had been way too long a shower. He was going to freeze himself solid doing that one of 

these days, or so his mother had told him when he was a kid. After drying, he slipped into a worn out pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. The t-shirt gave him another fit of nostalgia, with the words "I don't have to be witty, I can kill you with my tongue" emblazoned across the front. A gift from Iruka of course, with his strange taste in clever t-shirts.

He flopped down on the floor in his favorite room, the large open one with nothing but cushions in it. He liked to work here, if he brought things home with him, but he also liked to spend time here just resting, or reading, or meditating. Tonight he did nothing, just lay in the middle of the floor staring at the ceiling, trying to keep his mind clear. He didn't want to worry about Raidou, didn't want to find himself wondering what the mission was and how dangerous it was and why he was later than he'd expected. He didn't want to think about whether Raidou would come home with new scars or not come home at all perhaps. He thought these things anyway, and before he knew it he was shaking all over, just lying there. He couldn't figure out what was wrong with him. They were shinobi. He had never freaked out like this over Iruka, even when Iruka had for a while been doing missions just as dangerous as his own. He hadn't felt this way about any of his friends or bedmates, simply accepting the risk as part of life and grieving then the inevitable did come. So what was this panic, this terror that turned him into a shuddering mess?

Raidou frowned as he entered Genma's house. The traps weren't set, which wasn't a good sign, but the secret alarm signs Genma had told him about weren't going off either. What could have distracted Genma so much he forgot to set his traps? Raidou carefully entered the house, moving from room to room silently, his sword out. The sight that met his eyes when he entered the back room made him even more unsettled. Genma, lying on the floor in a t-shirt and sweatpants, shuddering uncontrollably. There wasn't any sign of any other presence in the house, though, so Raidou simply said, "Genma?"

He wasn't prepared for the flying mass hurtling at him, and had to drop his sword to avoid impaling Genma on it. Was Genma… crying? He was, sobbing uncontrollably and just hanging onto Raidou with all his strength. Raidou sighed and eased the man sideways a bit, keeping one arm around him while the other reached down to pick up his weapon and sheathe it before anyone got hurt accidentally. Once that was taken care of, Raidou wrapped both arms around Genma and eased them both down to the floor, so Genma was essentially sitting in his lap.

"You're late," Genma managed to get out once his sobs subsided.

Raidou sighed, running a hand through Genma's still damp hair. "I shouldn't have said how long I'd be gone. It seemed like an easy mission, but things didn't go as planned. I'm fine, though. Not a scratch on me."

Genma huddled closer. "I've never worried about someone so much in my life, Rai. Never. I haven't cried like this since…" Then Genma realized when the last time he had cried like this was, and he pulled back just enough to reach up and caress the scarred part of Raidou's face. He felt stupid suddenly. "I love you."

Raidou smiled and kissed him gently. "Yeah, I know, Gen-chan."

Genma shook his head. "No, Raidou, you don't know. The last time I freaked out this bad was when you got these," he said, caressing the scars again. "I love you. _I love you_. And I'm an idiot for not knowing it."

Raidou's mind reeled. His mission really hadn't gone as planned, and he was pretty exhausted even though he had managed to come through with no injuries. He wasn't ready for some kind of major emotional epiphany, but here it was, and his heart felt like it was going to burst. So this was what it felt like to be loved back, he thought vaguely, and then hugged Genma to him tightly. "Love you too, Gen-chan," he said simply.

The two of them sat there like that for a long moment, just resting. Raidou ignored the urge to pull away the first few times he felt it, but finally had to give in. "Genma, I'm dirty. I'm tired. Will you let me go long enough to shower?"

"No. But I'll shower with you," replied Genma, with no trace of a leer at all. Raidou was rather impressed actually, and a little worried.

"Fine. Let's go," replied Raidou, nudging Genma. Genma didn't budge, however, and Raidou sighed, gathering his courage. "Gen-chan, wouldn't you rather have me be this close to me naked and wet?"

Genma blinked, then bolted out of Raidou's lap. "Well, what are we waiting for?" he asked, and he was definitely leering now. Raidou grinned at him, relieved. He stood, calmly, and followed Genma to the bathroom. When he started pulling his clothes off, though, Genma batted his hands away and did it for him, and Raidou felt a little self-conscious as more and more of his scarred flesh was revealed. Genma merely smiled at him, shucking his own clothing and turning to start the shower and adjust the temperature, then drew him under the spray when it was ready.

As soon as they were in the shower, Raidou felt as if Genma was crowding him again, but he didn't comment. He even let Genma help him wash, grinning at the overt gropes the other man took as he did so. The more Genma touched him, the less awkward he felt about his body, he found. No one had ever managed to have that effect on him before, though he'd had his share of lovers over the years. By the time they were done with the shower and dried off, he felt cleaner than he'd been in a long time, in more ways than one.

Genma reached for his clothing, but Raidou smiled and batted his hands away. "Don't bother. Let's go to bed," he said, grabbing Genma's hand and pulling.

"You bloody tease! You know you aren't going to do anything, but you insist on…" started Genma, but he shut up abruptly when Raidou's free hand wrapped itself around his cock.

"Not going to what?" asked Raidou innocently.

Genma sputtered, then recovered. "Take me to bed and ravish me?" he asked hopefully.

Raidou laughed, stroking a bit, feeling the flesh beneath his fingers harden. "I don't know if I'm quite up to _ravishing_ you, Gen-chan, but I can promise you won't have to take care of _this"_ another slow stroke added emphasis, "by yourself."

"Fair enough," conceded Genma, a slow smile spreading across his face. Raidou was touching him, really touching him, and he wasn't dreaming. It was worth all the worry in the world.

"This definitely feels like being ravished," commented Genma a few minutes later, after he felt like every inch of his skin had been kissed, licked or nipped at by Raidou. Raidou's mouth was currently tracing a line up his thigh, and instead of responding Raidou bit him. "I wasn't complaining!" protested Genma, then wondered if he should complain to get another one of those bites.

"You talk too much," growled Raidou.

Genma smiled down at his lover. "I've been having one-sided conversations with you all my life, what do you expect?"

"For you to shut up before I decide I just want to go to sleep after all," Raidou replied, but the threat carried no real weight because he knew Genma could see his excitement, had felt his erection pressing against him as Raidou moved over his body.

Genma grinned knowingly, and reached out to pull Raidou up his body. "Okay then," he said softly, wrapping his arms around Raidou and settling in as if to go to sleep. "We'll sleep instead." He gently rolled his hip so that his groin ground into Raidou's thigh, and he could feel Raidou's heart beating loudly as if it were in his own chest. He wasn't expecting what came next though.

"Damn you, Genma," Raidou whispered harshly. "I spent my entire adult life resisting the urge to just pounce you, and then I finally have you in bed and you tease me like this?" Raidou shifted, and his mouth descended on Genma's in a passionate kiss. He pulled back, panting, and asked, "You really want to feel ravished, Genma?"

Genma nodded dumbly, thinking that Raidou had finally lost his shyness, and not in a way he had expected. That was all he had time to think before Raidou was kissing him again, and his hands were everywhere, and his thigh was spreading Genma's legs insistently. The kiss ended, and then Raidou's mouth was roaming his body again, leaving behind marks as it went this time. It ghosted across his erection tauntingly, and then dove lower, the tongue forcing its way into his body roughly, removed only to be followed just as roughly by fingers.

Genma screamed, and Raidou hesitated for just a second, before Genma bucked his hips against Raidou's hand. His lip was bleeding freely where he had bitten it, but he was smiling, and he had said he wanted to be ravished. With a mental shrug, Raidou pulled his fingers almost out and then thrust them in again, leaning down to take Genma's cock in his mouth as he did so. This elicited another scream, and then a moan, and finally a scathing "You call this ravishing?"

Raidou freed his mouth, and laughed, because this was his Genma, the smart-mouthed man who knew exactly where the lines were and crossed them all anyway. Raidou abandoned the cock he'd just spit out, jerked his fingers free, and then shoved Genma's thighs further apart, moving up between them. He lubed his cock with his own spit before shoving it just as brutally into Genma's hole, his voice tight as he asked, "Better?"

Genma couldn't answer, his whole body racked with pleasure and pain. He knew that was going to hurt, but he just couldn't help taunting Raidou into it, and this side of Raidou that he hadn't seen before was fascinating him. His eyes didn't move from Raidou's scarred face as the other man thrust into him roughly, and he could see so many emotions there, but most of all a relief from the longing he'd felt for years, and a twinge of regret that this first time between them hadn't come out quite like he'd planned. Genma would talk with him about that later, he decided, and then a brutal thrust hit in just the right spot, and he was screaming again.

The unique mixture of bliss and regret Raidou was feeling was exhilarating, and when it was finally over, Raidou collapsed, exhausted emotionally now on top of the mental and physical exhaustion his mission had caused. Genma kissed him, the blood from his bitten lip passing between them, and Raidou mumbled an apology, which Genma waved away. "You're perfect, Rai. Perfect this way, and perfect the way you wanted it to be, too. Perfect, always. Loved, always. Just sleep," he said soothingly, wrapping his arms around his lover. So Raidou slept, and Genma held him, lying awake for a very long time.


	7. Chapter 7: Beginning and Ending

This is the final chapter here. Thanks everyone for reading! I am writing the GenIru prequel to this and "Hiding" soon, so keep an eye out for that if you're interested! :)

Chapter 7: Beginning and Ending

Genma woke alone, but the smell of coffee wafting through his house reassured him that Raidou hadn't left. He sat up, and then wished he hadn't. He was sore, very sore, and he wondered if he was going to be able to get anything useful done that day. Hell, he was starting to wonder about walking to the kitchen to get the coffee.

Turned out he didn't have to. He heard the footsteps in the hallway, and then Raidou was in the bedroom pressing a cup of coffee into his hands. Raidou had thrown on a pair of scruffy old jeans but hadn't gone any further towards getting dressed, and he sat back down on the bed to drink his own coffee while Genma was drinking his. They didn't speak, but Raidou's arm curled itself around Genma's waist, and that was enough.

After Genma managed to finish his cup of coffee, he felt more alert, but just as sore. "I don't really want to work today," he mumbled.

"Can you just not work?" asked Raidou.

Genma shrugged. "Any day I don't work, I run the risk of missing something important. But it's not like I have set hours, or even a set place I have to work. While I typically choose the mission room because it's a good place for gossip, I can 'work' just as much when at the bar or the market or anywhere else people gather. It's not like Tsunade knows exactly when I am or am not working, but if I'm going to be missing much, I'm supposed to let Iruka know. Iruka has had a hard time lately, though, and I won't involve him again until I have to."

Raidou nodded. He'd been trying to grasp the intricacies of Genma's job, but it was pretty confusing for him. He was used to missions, with exact objectives, that you did and then came back and reported on. This ongoing gossip game wasn't his style. "Is there anything I can do for you/"

Genma leered. "That, every day for the rest of our lives. I don't care if I never get out of this bed again."

Instead of laughing, Raidou frowned. "That isn't what I wanted it to be like, you know." He set down his empty coffee cup and leaned forward to kiss Genma's lips, still tasting blood on them through the coffee from where the other man had bitten himself last night. "I didn't mean to hurt you, Gen-chan."

"Hurt me? Are you kidding, Rai? Please tell me you're kidding."

Raidou shrugged. "Yeah, I know. You like it rough sometimes. It's not like I haven't heard all the gossip about your sex life, not to mention when we were younger and I was always around you and Iruka, and the things you two did then…" Raidou shuddered. "I'm not really the kinky type of guy normally I guess."

Genma smiled contentedly. "None of that matters, Rai. Really. I love you."

Raidou grinned at him, hearing the difference again, hearing how Genma's "I love you" had changed in intonation and intention. "Thanks, Gen-chan," he said softly. "Now, I'll ask you again, is there anything I can do for you today?"

"You're too good to me, Rai. How about we start with some painkillers, and then you can come by the mission room with me and hang out while I make an appearance. Just enough to give anyone actively for a chance to gossip with me to get it, since people tend to do that. I can't believe no one's seen through this silly ruse yet, when Sandaime started us on this he figured it wouldn't last until we were out of our teens, but somehow people still think I'm just a gossipmonger…"

Raidou laughed. "You're too good at the role for your own good, Genma. Besides, I think at heart you are a gossipmonger, and that's why you do so well, even if that's not all you are."

Laughing, the two got up to begin their day.

"It's not going to work," Genma smiled, twitching his senbon at Iruka later that day.

"Oh?" asked Iruka, pouting a little and pulling his ponytail free, arranging the strands of hair around his face alluringly.

"Nope, still don't care," said Genma breezily.

Iruka jumped up and down like a little kid, ignoring the curious stares from everyone in the mission room. "Does that mean Rai finally gave you some? And if so… wait a second, I haven't seen you move from this spot on the wall the entire time you've been here!"

Genma grinned. "Definitely not moving from this spot. Until I go home. And then I'm teleporting," he confirmed.

Iruka glanced across the room at Raidou, who was talking quietly to Kurenai. "He doesn't look as happy as I would expect," the perceptive scar-nosed Chuunin commented.

Genma's grin was wiped away by that comment. "Well, no. You see, he had this romantic image in his mind, and things got a little out of control, and it didn't quite happen that way. All those pent-up emotions, all those years, he lost control. I loved it, you know how I am, but he…"

"He's not that kind of guy," Iruka finished for him, very quietly. "Oh no. Is he okay?"

"He will be," Genma replied, then grabbed Iruka's arm and steered him out of the room, down several hallways to the secret file room, where they could talk in private. "I love him, Iruka. I was bawling my eyes out when he came home, just completely freaking out with worry for him. And I realized, last time I cried like that…"

Iruka wound up finishing for him again. "When he got his scars. I remember. We all thought he wasn't going to live, and then to see him like that was so hard. Not just because he was so handsome before, because he's still handsome. But because it changed his self-image so much, and we were all sad for him, but you cried in a way I'd never seen you cry."

"You knew all along, didn't you, Iruka?" Genma said, plucking his senbon from his mouth and putting it in his vest carefully.

"Do you remember, when we were much younger, kissing him once?" asked Iruka, instead of answering the question.

Genma thought about that one for a moment. "I think I fell on him or something, and I felt bad about it, and I kissed him. Afterwards I wasn't sure why, but I didn't worry about it, because you were right there and you didn't say anything, and he never said anything either. And I've kissed lots of people, so it doesn't mean anything."

Iruka grinned and then did something Genma really didn't expect, leaned forward and kissed him, hard, right on the mouth. Genma responded instantly, deepening the kiss, and it was Iruka who finally pulled away. "Does that still mean something, Gen-chan?" he asked.

Genma was shaken, pulling back from Iruka as if he'd been burned. "You know it does, Ruka. What game are you playing here?"

Iruka just smiled at him. "It does still mean something. And you might have kissed however many people since that time, but when you kissed Raidou the day you fell on him you hadn't yet done so. You had kissed me, and only me, and kissing him on a whim wasn't something that meant nothing, to you or him."

Genma turned and smacked his head into the wall. "You mean you knew then? When we were still together?"

"That he was crazy about you, sure. That you could potentially feel the same way about him if you ever took your eyes off me for long enough, sure. That it would turn out this way… not exactly. I wasn't sure anything would ever come of it. That's why I was surprised when Raidou started acting like he was trying to hint that he liked you, because after all that time I had figured he was going to go the grave with that secret."

"Why didn't you tell me?" asked Genma.

That was a hard question, and Iruka's nose scrunched up in concentration, and he finally reached for his ponytail holder to pull his hair back again while he thought. "Genma, I'm not perfect. I dropped hints only after Raidou started dropping hints himself, partially out of respect for his privacy. But also, even since we broke up, a part of you has always been only mine. That's not the easiest thing in the world to give up."

Iruka had expected a blowup, but Genma smiled at him instead. "You're not perfect!" He jumped suddenly, and turned around in circles in a childlike gesture that seemed one Iruka would have made himself. "You're not perfect! You're just Iruka, and you're not perfect, and you're not my world!"

Iruka laughed, and said, "Are you just figuring that one out, after all the years we've known each other?"

Genma stopped twirling and winked at him, pulling the senbon out of his vest to put it in his mouth again. "Who knows, Ruka? Maybe I knew all along and just didn't tell myself."

The two friends wandered out of the file room and back up to the mission room, laughing all the way, and when they reached the spot where Raidou was still standing with Kurenai, Iruka handed Genma off to him. "I think you lost this, Rai. You might want to be careful about that, he's pretty valuable." With a salute to the two men, he turned and jauntily waltzed out of the room.

Raidou looked after him in silence, and then looked at Genma, who was practically clinging to him. He opened his mouth, and then glanced sideways at Kurenai, who was still standing next to him. "Come on, Gen-chan, I think I've had enough of the gossip game for one day."


End file.
